I never thought it would be me. That I would be 1-8 and what that actually meant. The journey I would embark on to try and grow our family. The journey of infertility. The ups and downs, the failures and successes. Basically ALL the emotions that came with infertility. The months of failed fertility medications. Failed IUI after failed IUI. The fear of the unknown, scared why no one could give me any answers. This new vulnerability that I didn’t recognize. The jealousy and longing of of wanting a baby and then seeing another negative test. Then watching friends and family getting pregnant so easily. Infertility has stripped me to my core. It has broken me down and has beaten me up. But I didn’t let the worst moments keep me down. Infertility is hard. But through my trials there were also lessons learned. Infertility taught me how to be resilient. To have faith. And to remember to give myself grace. That I am Strong. I am Worthy. I can do hard things. I can overcome my fears. Whichever way it happened, I knew I would be a mom. It’s what I dreamed of.
This has not been an easy journey. It’s been a long, emotional, roller coaster of a journey. There were many times where I would need to remind myself that there was a chance of something finally working. And that chance made it all worth it. My journey to motherhood might not be what many would call “traditional”. It is my journey to motherhood, that brought me my two babies. I am forever grateful for the modern day medicine that helped make my journey successful. There were times I didn’t know if I would survive the hurt and pain and all the emotions that came along with it. But I made it. I am 1-8, I am an IVF MAMA.
For those of you who have gone through this or are going through this, this is for you. I am here for you. I see you. I pray for you often. Pray that you remember how amazing you are. That you are reminded of your strength. That you remember to give yourself grace. And that you are worthy of ALL the things you dream to achieve.